Why Do I Want People to Admire Me

Question :- WHY DO I WANT PEOPLE TO ADMIRE ME?

Answer :-
One wants to be admired because one has no respect for oneself.

We are brought up with guilt feelings deeply rooted in us. From the very beginning we are condemned by the parents, by the teachers, by the priests, by the politicians, by the whole establishment.

A single note is continuously repeated to every child: that ’Whatsoever you are doing is not right.

You are doing what should not be done and you are not doing what should be done.’

Every child is given directly and indirectly
the impression that he is not really wanted, that his parents are tired, that he is being somehow tolerated, that he is a nuisance.

This creates a deep wound in every person, and a rejection of oneself arises.

To cover up that wound we expect
admiration, admiration is a compensation.

If you respect yourself that is more than
enough; if you love yourself there is no need for any admiration, there is no desire at all, because once you start expecting admiration from others you start compromising with them.

You have to fulfil their expectations, only then will they admire you. You have to be according to their dictates, you cannot live a life of freedom.

You become crippled and paralysed, you become retarded, you don’t grow up.

You become so afraid of your own self that you are constantly on guard, because you know if you allow yourself you are bound to do something wrong.

Because all that you have ever done was labelled wrong and now there is a trembling inside. You cannot depend on yourself, you have to depend on others.

This is a very psychological strategy to create slavery.

Condemn the person in his own eyes and he will remain dependent on others.

OshO